Repost: Coming to grips with Sandy Hook

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 19, 2012

So what do we do now?

After the funerals, the post-mortem psychoanalysis of the Sandy Hook killer and the debates about mental illness and gun control, what can concerned parents do next?

My guess? The best thing those of us who are not directly touched by last Friday's horrible incident can do is to go on with our lives. That's not to say that we should be unaffected by what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary; I think anyone would have to be made of stone not to feel a lump in his or her throat when hearing or reading about what is most parents' worst nightmare.

However, this is not a time to make drastic changes in a family environment or schedule, nor is it a time to revive the tired old mommy wars in a not-so-subtle attempt to slam working parents.

We should continue to reassure our children and answer their questions about the massacre in an age-appropriate way, to the best of our abilities. We should even talk with them about death, and what it means and is and isn't.



And while it's certainly a time to be vigilant and encourage our children to be watchful of their surroundings, it might be going a step too far to surreptitiously profile people who seem as though they might match the profile of mass shooting killers.

As difficult as it seems, this is definitely a time for parents to keep our wits about us and try to keep to our regular routines. I doubt that a few extra hugs and cuddles will hurt anybody or anything, though.

I quite literally shudder when I think about the terror felt by the children at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I'm terribly sad for those lost, those who experienced or heard the horror as it happened, the parents of the school's children and the entire community.

How are you and your family handling the aftermath of this terrible event?

The next morning: More Zimmerman verdict commentary

My last post listed commentary that went up within two to three hours of the jury issuing a 'not guilty' verdict in George Zimmerman's second-degree murder trial in the case of Trayvon Martin.

Here's more commentary that I found this morning:

South Florida Sun-Sentinel: After Zimmerman acquittal, hoping for peace and change
Essence: George Zimmerman verdict: Black moms react
Criminal Defense: The embarrassment of the George Zimmerman verdict
The Guardian: Open season on black boys after a verdict like this
New York Daily News: George Zimmerman verdict: Jury's decision unsatisfying but respectable given the circumstances
New York Daily News: George Zimmerman now free to do what he should've done that tragic night: Walk away
The Atlantic: On the killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman
The Black Snob: Zimmerman verdict is the status quo, but you are not
Global Grind: Rest in peace Trayvon Benjamin Martin
Tampa Bay Times: What the George Zimmerman verdict means -- and doesn't mean -- for race and media in America

RELATED: Read my initial 2012 post about Trayvon Martin's death.

Photo: George Zimmerman is congratulated by his defense team after being found not guilty (Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel/POOL)

Roundup of commentary on the George Zimmerman 'not guilty' verdict

George Zimmerman was found 'not guilty' tonight in the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

I've collected some of the opinion writing that appeared online within the first three hours after the announcement of the jury's verdict:

New Yorker: George Zimmerman, not guilty: Blood on the leaves
Gawker: The Zimmerman jury told young black men what we already knew
Orlando Sentinel: George Zimmerman jury reached right verdict
The Atlantic: Law and justice and George Zimmerman
Black America Web: Zimmerman's attorney: 'My client will never be safe'
Red State: There is only tragedy here
The Root: Zimmerman walks: Black life not valued
L.A. Times: Struggling to see justice in verdict
Chicago Sun-Times: Zimmerman trial forced us all to confront our biases
Tampa Bay Times: Verdict does not mask greater truths
The Nation: White Supremacy Acquits George Zimmerman
Dallas Morning News: Shocking Verdict in Zimmerman trial
Lawyers Guns & Money: Florida Justice
Salon: Zimmerman saga was all about race
Colorlines: Hurt, Sorrow, Anger: A first look at reactions to the Zimmerman verdict
National Review: A morality tale that failed
Washington Post: George Zimmerman gets to go home
Slate: Zimmerman's Not Guilty. But Florida Sure Is.

UPDATE: Read the second part of the list.
RELATED: Read my initial Moms At Work post about Trayvon Martin's death.

Repost: No, being an older parent isn't the worst thing in the world

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 12, 2012

It seems as though every month there's a new study or article designed to convince parents that everything they've ever done is wrong and will ruin their children.

This month, the chattering class wants you to know how absolutely terrible it is -- for you, your child and society at large -- for you to become a parent to a newborn when you're older than 35.

I get it: fertility declines for both men and women after 30 and there are definite studies linking a father's age at the time of conception to the likelihood that a child will suffer with schizophrenia or have autism.

As someone who became a parent for the first time when I was [*cough*] older, however, I'm unimpressed by all this hand-wringing.

Repost: How much do you worry about sexual abuse?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Dec. 5, 2012

I won't lie: I'm pretty terrified that I'll let the wrong person too close to my daughter, and she'll somehow end up hurt.

The unseemly story surrounding Kevin Clash, who was the voice and puppeteer for the popular Sesame Street character Elmo but is accused of having sex with minors, reminded me of just how vigilant I have to be. While Clash's case was certainly unique, it's clear that I have to stay on my toes to make sure my daughter's not in harm's way. The case, about which Clash has been tight-lipped, was also a reminder that I need to pay attention to the adults who are around her both during school and in weekend activities.

I know intellectually that the rate of child sexual abuse is falling, but that doesn't mean I don't still worry.

But I wonder whether my worry has kept or will keep my daughter from developing relationships that will be meaningful to her as an adult. For example, the pastor of my childhood church was one of my personal heroes; today, however, I'm incredibly unlikely to let my daughter spend time alone with my family's priest.

Are you concerned that your zeal for protecting your family could actually prevent your child/ren from having valuable experiences?

Repost: Do you know which toys are unsafe?

I've contributed to the Orlando Sentinel's Moms at Work blog since 2010. The blog is changing content management systems and my old posts will no longer be available to the public, so I'm reposting them here, in the order that they were originally posted.


Nov. 21, 2012

Black Friday, one of the nation's biggest shopping days, is just hours away, and some of the millions of people who will hit stores will definitely be headed to toy aisles to buy items for kids.

But do they know which toys are safest?

If they don't know but want to know, somebody's already done that work for them. The U.S. Public Interest Research Group, a safety advocacy organization, has put out Trouble in Toyland, its annual report about the safety of toys.

The good news is that U.S. PIRG found fewer problematic toys than ever.

However, at least one Morphobot toy had more metal than allowed by federal regulations and a Dora the Explorer backpack contained a high level of phthalates, substances added to plastics that have been linked with breast cancer and other conditions.

This year's report was focused on toys that could cause hearing loss or choke children, according to ABC News.

Read the report for yourself and keep it in mind if you head out on Black Friday. Happy shopping!

This earworm, though

This song inexplicably has taken up residence in my brain, like a disco virus of some sort